nenchinten

I am dirty I am ugly Beyond words I am  battered by my ways My sense of self preservation is lost My pride is diminished by my foolishness By my hands I am doomed By ways I am judged I lied to myself believing I would get away with it My hell is not beneath, not in the underworld My hell is here on earth For I see daily my path of flaws My victims and my evil trophies And though my repentance is here My past is still memory A burden I shall carry all the way Hmmmmmm Im sorry Lord Without you, I am alive without life By my hand, my sword is thrust to my heart.

There was no hesitation, their words were unacceptable, yet they spoke still; the events of a future I could never admit to. How could my peers tell me what elders should? It was not palatable to my ears, made no sense to my head. I am here, with them, in the same experience, in the same time, space and age. Yet, I seem to be in another dimension, certain of an imminent uncertainty. Maybe I was naive, maybe I expected too much from myself and from life. My one tracked mind narrowed only to the bliss of life and blinded to the potent turmoil ahead. Jude looked me straight in the eye and said, "you know you are gonna cheat on her soon right?" Hank and Jazz both turned to me anticipating some response. At that moment, they were laughable. You see I loved my wife, i still do. At some point of my being with her, being faithful wasn't a problem. Before we hit the alter, I was solid and she was the only deal! She still is. But time shifted me to a zone where loyalty has become