There was no hesitation, their words were unacceptable, yet they spoke still; the events of a future I could never admit to. How could my peers tell me what elders should? It was not palatable to my ears, made no sense to my head. I am here, with them, in the same experience, in the same time, space and age. Yet, I seem to be in another dimension, certain of an imminent uncertainty.
Maybe I was naive, maybe I expected too much from myself and from life. My one tracked mind narrowed only to the bliss of life and blinded to the potent turmoil ahead.
Jude looked me straight in the eye and said, "you know you are gonna cheat on her soon right?" Hank and Jazz both turned to me anticipating some response. At that moment, they were laughable. You see I loved my wife, i still do. At some point of my being with her, being faithful wasn't a problem. Before we hit the alter, I was solid and she was the only deal! She still is. But time shifted me to a zone where loyalty has become fluid, and fidelity, something to be rationalised. I realize that a person's state of mind, a person's resolve is simply a product of a momentary experience....meaning we could change. Very seriously, we all could. Given time, pressure, desire, loss or gain....anything can make people change....every one changes. Some times for good, sometimes for bad.
I have learned,... darkness must be anticipated if light is the destination. So rather than casting away the red flags, it is best to build a watch tower because whether we like it or not, the war is coming to us!
nenchinten@yahoo.ca My 5 year old son, Jonathan asked me the most amusing question the other day....Daddy, how come im small? why am i not 6 yet? I looked down at him with a smile and said, "slow down, we all get older eventually, someday, you just might wish you were younger", i answered. I'm not sure he understood that line, but i am certain those words will come around sometime in his life. It is quite ironic how boys so eagerly seek to be men only to realize that time is a field of mixed blessings. Being young may be a sort of convenience, especially where one is born in the ideal environment....otherwise being young is a state of defenselessness and the eagerness of boys to be men is hinged on the ideals of self preservation. In the path of growth, dreams are forged. Dreams that define, direct and redirect life's choices, life is the battle fought to achieve, conquer, possess, dominate, realize and attain the goals birthed by those dreams. Slowly but steadi...
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